- by Alberto Gesualdi (from Tango-L)
Take this comment not as the ultimate truth, or a shining revelation.
Tango is subtle.
Tango is shy.
Tango is an elf, a goblin, he mocks you. And when you are going to throw the towel, it gives you a drop of water, just a drop, and disappear, leaving thirstier than before.
Now, concerning the man with leading problems. There are many good comments from people of this tango list, I will pick up some:
1. To walk
This is the basic. You have to walk. Walk. Walk means, to gently take your female companion, to feel her body, and to make a counterclockwise figure, all around the dancing room. To properly lead the lady, you need a purpose. Your purpose, in this first stage, is to walk all around the dancing ball room, without interrupting or hitting other couples.
2. It is your upper part what matters, not your legs
Yesterday I was practicing with my lady, she is 17, I am 46. She is 80 pounds, I am 160 pounds. Something was going wrong with the eights [ochos]. Whenever I turn, she could not make the eights properly , she lost her balance and quicken the steps.
So I look what was going on. I was doing the body movement bad. I move my legs, and pretend her to follow me. It does not work that way.
If you man, want the woman to make an eight, first you have to show your intention with your chest and shoulder and 'marca'. Once the lady begun the eight , you follow her, and meet her body with your body. Also you have to keep aligned, not to open your shoulder, otherwise bodies begun to separate.
3. Be gentle, hear the woman´s body, her breathing, the beating of her heart.
Lose yourself into the dancing, this can not be talked with your dancing couple. When you are dancing, the lesson has ended. Is the lady and you. Do the steps you feel good. Stop. Allow the lady to understand your movement. She is not a puppet, she will not move with your towing or pushing, she needs to receive a clear message from your male body. The basic message has to be: confidence. Otherwise it will be very difficult to dance. Be patient with yourself. If got entangled, stop. Once again, start from a standing position, both aligned. Lady will appreciate your effort, she will see you are struggling to produce a reliable support.
Have a very nice tango dancing!! Enjoy it!!! This is what it matters!! No teacher can teach you to enjoy, this is your contribution for your dancing lady.
Alberto